Archive for the ‘Attitude’ Category

Use Assessments Cautiously

Mar 19th, 12 / 0 Comments

Woman reviewing assessment with coach

The woman I was speaking to on the phone was someone I knew.  I was planning to hire 7 people for a project and was in the last phase of the hiring process.  Betty was enthusiastic and up to now I was pretty sure I was going to hire her.

The last step was going over the behavioral style assessment that I had asked her to take.  Before the behavioral assessment I explained to Betty that if hired she would be administering this assessment to the clients she would work with as part of the project.  I wanted each of the job candidates to experience the behavioral style assessment before giving it to others.

As we reviewed the behavioral assessment report together I began to get a picture of Betty’s behavior from the report that was very different from what I had observed from our past interactions.   I shared my concerns about the accuracy of the report with Betty.

No assessment is 100 percent accurate.  I was used to having clients say that one piece of the report was not right.  I usually ask the client to talk with people he/she trusts to see if they see that behavior in the client.  Then if most agree that it is inaccurate, the client can just ignore that part of the report.

With Betty however the report was grossly inaccurate and Betty was obviously very uncomfortable with it too.  I wanted to hire her but how could she confidently use this assessment with others when hers was so messed up?!

After going over the full report Betty sheepishly admitted to me that she answered the questions the way she thought a person who was right for the project would answer.  In essence she gamed the system.

What surprised her was that the report painted a picture of a person who had very different characteristics than the ones she thought would come up based on her answers.  She admitted to me that she really wanted to work on the project and was afraid the assessment might show she wasn’t right for the job.  Needless to say she was very embarrassed.

Sometimes hiring managers use assessments to target a particular type of person that they know through experience is right for a job.  In that case while as the job seeker you might really want the job, you won’t be happy in the job if the company is looking for a different type of person.  You can alter your behavior to be what the manager is looking for but it takes a lot of energy and eventually you will burn out.

For my project however I was looking for a variety of styles.  Betty did not need to worry. Often managers are looking for that variety to insure that the members of the team complement each other.

Lessons learned:

  1.  Those giving assessments have to be very clear in their instructions.  I thought I was clear but obviously Betty didn’t hear me.  People tend to get nervous about assessments especially in a hiring situation. Those giving assessments need to be sensitive to this.  Saying something several times clearly in multiple ways can calm nerves.
  2. Those taking assessments need to be honest with their answers.  Getting a job that you are not a good fit for will come back to haunt you.  Get some practice taking assessments before a hiring manager asks you to take one so you will know what the assessment is going to reveal about you.
  3. No assessment is 100 % accurate.  You are the final judge in accepting or rejecting what it says.  If you feel something is inaccurate, let it go.   Use the assessment language of what you know is true to emphasize your strengths to the hiring managers considering hiring you.

Fast Tracl Job Search Guide If you are looking for a new job, you’ll want to read Fast Track Job Search Guide by Alvah Parker and Lenore Mewton.  In it you will find hundreds of tips and ideas for a successful job search.

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Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers, practice management

Ten Ways to Relax With Play

Dec 7th, 11 / 0 Comments

15 years of work in Corporate America almost made me lose my ability to be playful.  At this time of year most of us feel the stress of getting everything ready for the holidays.  Take a play break this month.  It’s time for all of us (me too) to lighten up. Here are 10 suggestions:

  1. Cut, paste and color something – As a child you probably liked to color a picture or make a collage?  Do something artistic now without judging the work.  Enjoy the feel of doing it.  The goal is to enjoy doing this.  It is not about the picture itself.
  2. Dance – Who doesn’t like to move with music?  Take a break, choose some music you enjoy and dance with wild abandon.  Really let loose.  I know it takes me a while to lose my inhibited style.  I’ll need to close the windows, shades and doors for this one.
  3. Sing – Here is my favorite.  I do this a lot in the shower, in the car or in my office when no one is around.  To have even more fun use your hairbrush as a microphone and pretend you are a rock star.
  4. Bubbles – This one I learned from my grandchildren when they were younger. They would blow bubbles and then break them as the bubbles danced through the air.   I love blowing bubbles and then watching them float.  Sometimes I like to catch them on my finger which is tricky because they often break.
  5. Swinging on a swing – Go to a playground or carnival.  Swing on a swing and feel the wind in your face, use a jungle gym or the monkey bars and swing from place to place or sit on a merry go round and go for the brass ring.  Just thinking of doing this makes me smile.  It is too cold to do this right now in Massachusetts.  It will have to wait until spring.
  6. Enjoy a yoyo, a Nerf ball, or a paddle with ball.  I’ve never mastered a yoyo but they look like fun if you know what you are doing.  I end up winding the string most of the time.  I do like to use the paddle that has a ball connected to it with an elastic.  Fun to try to keep the ball moving and hitting the paddle.    Playing with a Nerf ball can be fun too.  Any ball will do but Nerf balls are squishy and colorful.
  7. Mindful Walk – Walking is a great stress reliever.  Next time you walk begin to notice what is around you – the flowers, birds, the sounds, the trees, the people etc.  See where the sounds you hear come from, notice where the birds fly to, look at the leaves on the tree and all the flowers growing.  (I’ll need to wait for spring to see flowers and leaves but there is still lots to notice in the winter.)
  8. String games – Have you ever played Cat’s Cradle?  String games are lots of fun.  You need a partner to do Cat’s Cradle but there are many things you can do alone like making a Brooklyn Bridge, a cup and saucer, a broom,  or a crown all in string. Sometimes it takes a bit of imagination to see what you have made but it is fun to do over and over.  Make up a new design yourself.
  9. Stickers – Another way to make a collage or mosaic is with stickers.  If you have an assortment of stickers you can make an abstract creation and have fun while doing it.
  10. Building with blocks, Legos, or sand. How high can you pile the blocks, Legos or sand?  Some people become quite artistic when it comes to sand.  I love making tunnels and moats on a big sand castle.   There are lots of instruction books for making things out of Legos but I’d rather make my own creation.  Again this is more about relaxing and having fun and not about making something.

What ways do you have to de-stress this time of year?

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Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

Use What You’ve Got to be Happy at Work

Nov 20th, 11 / 0 Comments

Shirley Temple was the star of the day when I was born.  My mother adored her.  Of course she envisioned her new daughter with lots of lovely curls.  Unfortunately I was born with straight brown hair.  It should have been no surprise to her though because neither she nor my father had curls.

As I got to be school age I too wanted Shirley Temple curls. I can still remember a girl in my first grade class named Cynthia Woodbury with beautiful curls that looked like sausages.  Oh did I want curls like hers.

My mother did try to curl my hair.  People told her to set my hair with rags.  That didn’t work.  Someone else told her to put lanolin on my hair and then put a cap on for an hour.  Still no curls!

Finally she found something that she was sure would work-a permanent.  Wanda the hairdresser put curlers that were connected to an electric hairdryer like machine on me.  Smoke came out of the curlers when they were attached to my hair.  I wanted those curls so badly I wasn’t even scared.

It did work! Now I had small tight curls all over my head.  When it rained my hair stood straight out.  I looked like a cartoon character that had put her finger in an electric outlet.  One boy in my first grade class said when he saw me, “Alvah, what happened to your hair?”  My mother who was with me said, “She ate lots of carrots.” Another theory she had read in magazines was that carrots make your hair curly.  That had not worked either!

As I got older my aunt would give me a Tony home permanent several times a year.  By this time it didn’t make such tight curls but there was still an issue on rainy days.  I continued getting the permanent periodically until I was in my 50s.  Finally I’d had enough.

I realized after all those years that straight hair can be pretty too.  The lesson learned was to work with what I had and to see it as being good.  It’s all about your mindset.

Barbara Corcoran, founder of the Corcoran Group, a real estate firm in New York wrote a book called Use What You’ve Got and other Business Lessons I learned from My Mom She tells a funny story about how she used her pigtails and friendly personality to attract customers to her counter in a restaurant. (Maybe you can guess what the girl at the other counter had.)

Maximize Your Strengths

Just as trying to acquire a physical attribute that I didn’t have was a waste of time trying to overcome a skill or talent weaknesses can be frustrating too.  Time is better spent maximizing a strength than trying to build up a weakness.

Malcolm Gladwell in his book Outliers suggests that even someone who is talented in a particular area must put in 10,000 hours of practice to get really expert.   He cites Bill Gates as an example of someone with the talent and strong desire to understand how to program computers.  Gates enjoyed programing and that made working on computers fun for him. He easily put in the hours necessary to gain expert status.

It takes a lot of energy to try to strengthen weaknesses.  It will be exhausting and in the end while you will see improvement you won’t be able to compete with the person who has a natural talent in that area and enjoys perfecting that talent.

So what are you naturally good at?  How can you use what you have to make it count in the work that you do?  Your work becomes much more meaningful when you are able to use the skills and talents you enjoy and that you are good at.

Not sure what your strengths are?  I give several assessments in my Value Program to help you to identify those strengths.  Once you know those strengths you can begin to use them in the work you do.  Sometimes people undervalue what they are good at because they do it so easily they believe everyone can do it too.  I’ll help you to see your unique value and where you can use that value in your current job or in a new job.  Call me at 781-598-0388 or email me at asparker@asparker.com.

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Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

10 Career Plan Lessons I Learned From My Father

Jul 10th, 11 / 0 Comments

Having a career plan is important today.  People don’t stay in one company for their entire career as they did in my father’s day.  Even years ago though my father was always worried about being laid off.  He was an engineer and worked for GE for 25 years.  During those 25 years he often commented on how few older faces he saw in his workplace. He never lost his job though and at 62 he got a new and even better job in a different large company where he worked until he retired at 65. Here are 10 career plan lessons that I believe contributed to his being a sought after employee.

 

1.       Always learning – My father was always studying something. When I was in high school and he was in his 50s he took a physical chemistry class at Harvard.  He spent hours studying for that class and he successfully completed it.  As a scientist he was curious about everything and spent hours in the MIT library reading.  He would have loved having the Internet available to him.

2.       Passion for his work – My father had a passion for his work.  He ate, slept and breathed his work.  He talked incessantly about it to his colleagues, my mother and me.  Even when he was supposed to be relaxing his mind was on his work.  Sleep was his only down time.  He kept a pad of paper and pencil by the bed! (Coach’s note: This was a bit excessive in my opinion.  That he got ideas when he slept meant he wasn’t leaving some down time to be creative.)

3.       Considered an expert in his field – Other scientists and engineers consulted with my father using his expertise to aide them in their work.  He also published papers on his work so people knew about him.  He had several patents and won quite a few awards.

4.       Viewed as a problem solver not a problem maker.  Other scientists came to my father to help them solve technical problems.  He never threw up his hands in frustration because a problem seemed insurmountable but instead dug in to help find a solution or to a fix to the problem.  He found ways to get the company he worked for to support his work most of the time too.

5.       Loved to laugh and had a great sense of humor. My father  was six feet tall and had a big build. He had a deep contagious laugh.  Nothing pleased him more than a good joke.  If he told the joke himself he laughed all the way through the story.  Sometimes it was hard to understand him because he was laughing so hard.  Still his laughter made others laugh too.

6.       Always looking for a new challenging opportunity - My father always checked the job listings in the newspaper and the periodicals that he read.  While he loved his work he was always looking for a new and better opportunity to do the work he loved.  At 62 he found a listing that was interesting to him and to his surprise the company offered him the job.

7.       He was persistent - He took many classes that his employer provided.  When he took physical chemistry  at 50+years it had been over 20 years since he had been in a formal classroom.   It took him many hours to study the material and complete the homework assignments.  He never gave up.  I remember having to tip toe around when he was studying which to me seemed to be all the time he was at home!  Coach’s note: Today employees can’t always wait for an employer to provide training.  To keep up and get ahead  continuous learning is necessary.  The employee must take courses on his/her own.

8.       Used professional associations and alumnae connections to further his knowledge - There was always a stack of professional magazines in my father’s office at home.  He was always reading them.  He was an active member of the associations from which those magazines came.  As a graduate of MIT and McGill he stayed connected to those institutions in order to keep  up with the latest advancements from them.

9.       Kept his network up – Over the years he had many colleagues that he worked with.  Some retired and others went to work for other companies.  He stayed in contact with many over the years.  Several went on to take more responsible high level government or management positions.

10.   Can do attitude – This attitude goes along with persistence and being a problem solver.  He wasn’t negative.  Tell him a problem and he was confident he could solve it.  Need to design a process for something and he was right there working on it.  Of course if he saw something that absolutely would not work or seemed stupid to him he did not hesitate to speak up.  Sometimes this got him into trouble!

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Attitude, Career Changers

Mind Your Mindset

Jun 27th, 11 / 0 Comments

“I can’t do my homework.”  That is the cry I used to hear from my son at least 2 or 3 times during the week when I came home from work.  My son is now in his 40s but I remember it as if it was yesterday.

Because my son had struggled in school his general assumption was if he didn’t know the answer immediately, he couldn’t do it.

With such a negative mindset, no wonder he was upset.  If you think you “can’t” it is likely you won’t be able to.  Your mindset gets in the way.

This kind of thinking can keep you from being happy at work and it can keep you from seeing what is meaningful in the work that you do. You get stuck in the negative.  So it is best to change from a negative mindset to a positive one. 

Are you aware of a negative mindset?

Some people are not even aware that they have a negative mindset.  Certainly my son was not.  Pointing that out to him when he was frustrated by not being able to do his homework,  just made him angry!  In his quieter less upset moments, he did realize that his thoughts were getting in his way.

What about you?  If you are constantly giving yourself negative messages, it has an effect on you.  Those messages could be messages such as “I hate my job.” “I can’t do this.” “I can’t deal with my boss” “I am not good enough.”

The first step is to become aware of the negative messages and what they do to you.  Spend a moment periodically checking in with yourself.  Ask yourself these four questions:                                                                                             

  1.  What am I thinking about right now?
  2.  What is the energy I am putting out?
  3.  How does it feel to me?
  4.  What will the impact be on me and my work?

Change to a positive mindset

If you find you want to change your mindset after answering those questions, then the next question is how do you do that?  You must be open to change in order to do that.  My son was not when he was in the midst of trying to get his homework done.  Only when he was less upset did he understand that he needed to change.

Give yourself some quiet time and space to think about your mindset and how you could change it when necessary.  Some people find it helpful to meditate first.  Others go for a walk or listen to some relaxing music. 

When you are in a calm accepting state, develop a strategy for yourself to help you to change your mindset.  For some of my clients simply coming up with something positive and changing their thought works.  An example of that would be:

Negative mindset                   Positive mindset

“I hate my job.”                      “I like the camaraderie of my coworkers and

                                                     feel good about the special project I am on.” 

“I can’t do this”                     “Last time I had a difficult problem I actually

                                                    did find a solution pretty quickly.”

“I can’t deal with my boss.”     “Last week I gave my boss a report that he

                                                             complimented me on.”

“I am not good enough.”        “I have had several successes in this job.”

                                                          (Think of examples.)

By simply substituting a positive and focusing on that, it is possible to change your mindset from negative to positive.  Having a positive attitude goes a long way to helping you to be happy at work.

A Professional Hazard

There are some professions that focus on solving a client’s problems and helping them to avoid problems in the future.  Many in those professions get stuck in negative energy-their own and their clients’.  While those professionals are really good at what they do, they also internalize the negativity. That negativity keeps them stuck.  It is not good for attracting clients, co-workers, or managers. It will get in the way of practice development, a promotion, or a new job.  How do you balance the negative and the positive?  You need both!  If I have described your situation, I can help you.  Feel free to call (781-598-0388) or email me (asparker@asparker.com) for a consultation.

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Attitude, Career Changers, job search, Lawyers, practice management

How To Be Happy At Work – 10 tips

Jun 9th, 11 / 2 Comments

We’ve all had times when we feel frustrated at work.  Some may find it hard to go to the office each day.  Being unhappy at work puts a damper on life.  Chances are family members also sense that things are not right.  How can a person turn that around so that he/she is eager to meet each day and looks forward to getting to work?  Here are some tips to use to help you to be happy at work.

1. Choose to be happy. Acknowledge that you are in charge of your own happiness. Know what makes you happy and find ways to get what you need. ==>Tip: Start with your values. What is most important to you in your life? Not sure what your values are? Take the Truvalues Assessment you got when you subscribed to this newsletter. (Email me (asparker@asparker.com) for another copy if you misplaced it.)

2. Honor your values - Once you know your values find a way to honor your values at least once a day in your current job. If there are only a few tasks that honor those values in this job, begin to think about finding a job that would allow you more time to work on what is most important to you.

3. Take charge of your own personal and professional development. Decide what you are going to learn next and find a way to get that done. If it is related to your current work, you may be able to get your employer to pay for training. If it is related to something you are planning for the future, pay for it yourself. You are making an investment in yourself. If you are learning you are growing professionally and personally. If you choose not to grow, you will wither in the job. Becoming an expert in some phase of your work will contribute to your happiness.

4. Manage your schedule carefully. Do not make commitments you can’t keep. Stress comes from having a jammed schedule and then failing to meet some of your commitments. Good time management systems will help you to be timelier with your work. Do not volunteer for additional projects if it will mean being late with your regular work.

5. Find a bunch of lunch buddies at work. Isolation can be depressing. Get out of your office and meet your colleagues. Use lunch time as a break in the work day and take time to get to know the people you work with.==> Tip: This is an opportunity to build your network- something that will be helpful for finding more interesting work if necessary.

6. Smile and say hello to everyone! Smiling helps make us feel happy because our brain connects smiling with being happy. If you smile at your colleagues, some will return the smile and the greeting. That feeling of community and belonging will also contribute to your happiness.

7. Stay away from people who are negative. If there are people who complain all the time about the work, the company and/or the boss, don’t spend time with them. It is easy to find fault with something or someone. To be happy you must look for what is good about the organization and the people. Keep focused on what’s right not what’s wrong. Having a positive mental story will help you to be upbeat and happy.

8. Know what is happening in the company, in your division and within your work group. There are always people who seem wired and in the know. Have a network of people like this to call when something happens that you don’t understand or are not sure about the impact.

9. Find meaning in the work you do. Look at the big picture. How are you making a contribution to the organization, your community, the world? Meaningful work and happiness have a real connection. Are you doing meaningful work?

10. Take a break. To gain perspective on your work and your life it is important to take periodic vacations. The US is a nation of workaholics. Few people take all their vacation time and many people check email and voice mail while on vacation. To have a healthy and happy relationship with work be sure to take your vacation time. You’ll come back refreshed. Vacations give you the opportunity to see the work in a whole new light.

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Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

Can You Reverse Burnout?

Feb 23rd, 11 / 0 Comments

An attorney friend and newsletter reader asked me if I could write an article on reversing burnout.  At first I referred her to an article I had written many years ago on how to avoid burnout.  She was insistent however that avoiding burnout and reversing it were two different things.  Her question really was if a person is really burnt out, what can he or she do to come out of it?

The short answer is that once you have hit the point of real burn out you must get out of the situation that is causing it.  If  someone’s job is literally making them sick then the person will likely avoid work each day or drag him/herself to work each day only to make mistakes on the job or not complete assignments on time.  The person is in danger of being put on a performance plan or even being fired for performance reasons.

A person who feels physically ill on the job, is depressed and/or is exhibiting poor job performance should seek help from a professional therapist. The therapist can help that person see the alternatives open to him/her. Lawyers are fortunate to have the resource of Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers in many places.  Check out the website for Lawyers Concerned for Lawyers for the location in Massachusetts,  It is important for someone experiencing burn out to get some help.

When a person is really burnt out then reversing it is not possible.  The person must leave the job situation at least temporarily and get help.  There are many however who may be on the way to burnout and then if the person wants to reverse it, it is possible.

What my newsletter reader has noticed is that in these difficult economic times, after many lay offs the few who remain are doing the work of those that left as well as their own work.  Working 60 or 70 hours a week is the new normal.  It is exhausting and stressful.

With jobs still hard to find those lucky enough to have one are reluctant to scale back their hours for fear of losing the job they have even though they are miserable.  To them there appears to be no solution.

A coach can be helpful  to the overworked attorney helping him/her to sort things out.  With the support of the coach the attorney will set some goals and boundaries. The coach then will hold him/her accountable for following through.  An attorney who is feeling burnt out must want to make a change in order to successfully work with a coach.  No one can help a person unless he/she wants to be helped.

Some of the suggestions on my list of 10 Ways to Avoid Burnout can also help to identify the changes he/she needs to make.  Setting a reasonable time to leave the office each day is one change to implement.  It is important to get a full night’s sleep.  What is amazing is how much better the world looks when a person consistently gets a full night’s sleep.

My clients often resist setting firm times to arrive and leave the office each day.  Certainly the employee must think about the risks involved in working very long hours versus the risk involved in setting some solid boundaries for him/herself in relation to the work.   The culture of the firm may be such that working fewer hours does not appear to be an option.  Here the person needs to weigh the two risks ie illness, poor health and burn out versus getting fired for working too few hours.

My friend who asked about this did recall a friend who after having a baby did negotiate a more reasonable schedule with no repercussions.  Sometimes people make assumptions that something is impossible when in fact no one has asked if it is possible.

There is always a risk that your employer will not be willing to allow the change.  Continuing in a difficult work environment is however hazardous to your health.  Making a change may be the only “safe” thing to do although it probably won’t feel that way when you do it.

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Attitude, Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers, practice management

Making a Transition

Feb 9th, 11 / 0 Comments

Transitions can be difficult.  Change is never easy and when it involves your career or your personal life it is just plain scary. Job seekers, career changers, and business people all experience transitions.  While it may be upsetting when it is happening, transitions are also an opportunity for growth.

At 38 I went through a huge transition.  I went from living in a large house with a husband, two children and a dog to being a single Mom in a much smaller house with a mortgage and expenses I had to take care of on my own.  Since I had been a stay at home Mom up to this time, I also needed to find a job.

I had never been totally on my own before. Before I was married I lived with  and was supported by my parents and after that - my husband.  Working outside the home was not common for women in those days.  Now I was responsible not only for myself but the children as well. This transition period was a really frightening for me.

To make matters even more difficult I had just bought a house that did not have a bedroom for me!  I had to build one in the attic or at least find someone to do it for me.

I hired a contractor, watched over the construction of a bedroom, office and bathroom, managed the household and cared for the children (oh yes and the dog too!) while at the same time I looked for a new job.  It was not easy and there were days when I was really discouraged but I kept going because I had two children to support and I was determined to succeed.

The construction of my bedroom and bath taught me a lot.  I’d never done anything like it before. I managed to stay within a very tight budget.  I made hundreds of decisions about the design and materials with no one to help me except the contractor and a few friends. I could really see how much I was capable of.

Confidence comes from these kinds of small successes that get you energized and keep you moving forward even under difficult circumstances.  It was during that period that I actually grew into the role of family provider.

Finding a job was my next challenge. My degree was in education and I had returned earlier that year to teaching but realized that while I still enjoyed it I needed to make more money than I could in teaching. I wanted to work with adults too since I was at home alone with two children.

The career I decided on was sales and marketing.  It took some real salesmanship to convince people that a teacher with no real sales experience could sell!  Even my parents and friends were skeptical.

Very few companies seemed impressed with my resume.  After numerous calls, tons of networking and several job interviews I finally convinced one company that I could sell their amazing electronic equipment – the telephone answering machine.

It was my experience building that bedroom, office and bath that had made me fearless! Doing that taught me I could do anything I set my mind to and I convinced the telephone answering machine company I could sell for them.  And I did! I became their star sales person.

If you are someone going through a transition (career, business, or personal) right now for whatever reason, look at this transition time as a period of personal growth.  Take on a challenging project (your own or volunteer for one). Learn a new skill. Deepen your expertise so you can become a thought leader in your field.  Learn as much as you can about yourself and the opportunities open to you.

This transition time is a unique opportunity for growth.  Use it wisely to help you to find new confidence in yourself.  You will profit from the experience!

Take action:

Many years ago I read this essay about transitions and loved it.  It is a beautifully written parable.  Hope you enjoy it too.

http://www.earthstewards.org/ESN-Trapeze.asp


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Be Happy at Work By Reducing Stress

Jan 19th, 11 / 0 Comments

Stress affects your performance at work.  A little stress is not a bad thing.  It keeps you on your toes.  Too much stress can be paralyzing.  When the stress of a job gets to you, you need some strategies to help you cope.  Here are 11 ways my clients and I have found to minimize the stress so we can be active and happy.

  1. Breathe deeply -This is probably the most important stress reducer.  Often when someone is under great stress they either stop breathing or take really shallow breaths.  Instead take a deep enough breath so that you can see your belly rise.  Do this several times to relax yourself.  (I’ve become more aware of deep breathing since my mother got sick.  She has to take some deep breaths during the day to insure that her oxygen level remains above 90%, When I tell her to take deep breaths, I do it too.  It definitely helps make me feel more alert and grounded.)
  2. Sleep 7 or 8 hours a night – Lack of sleep can make you tense and depressed.  Most of us need at least 7 hours every night to stay calm and alert at work.
  3. Exercise – Walking is one way to get the exercise you need to keep your body in shape and happy.  If you sit at a desk all day, get up occasionally, walk around and stretch.  (Once I sit down at my desk I rarely get up.  I do need to work on this one!)
  4. Mindful eating – Take the time to really taste your food.  Don’t eat at your desk and work. Instead spend some time sitting quietly eating.  This gives you a chance to unwind.  Move to another location and leave your work thoughts at your desk. Eat slowly and take the time to enjoy the food.  Not only is this tip helpful to calm yourself and relieve stress but it is also helpful to people trying to diet.  Your brain will have the time to send you a message when you are full.  When you eat fast you tend to overeat.
  5. Plan carefully so you don’t leave everything for the last minute- Stress comes when you have too much to handle and you aren’t sure where to start.  Some of my clients call it “overwhelm”.  You can combat overwhelm by planning ahead so you know what you will do and when you will do.  It helps you to see that your plan allows you to complete the work. Can’t get everything done?  Move on to 6.
  6. Prioritize your work – When there is more work to be completed than you have time for, it is necessary to prioritize your work.  Ask yourself what are the most important projects that must be worked.  Prioritizing helps you to figure out what to focus on.  It can help eliminate the feeling of overwhelm you have when you look at everything that must be done and become paralyzed by the enormity of the work. 
  7. Delegate work if you can or ask for help – If you have others who work for you, delegate the repetitive work that someone else can do to free up your time to do the work only you can do.  Those who do not have people to delegate to, try asking for help from someone when you are feeling overwhelmed.
  8. Create good boundaries and learn to say no – Be really clear what is and what is not your responsibility and learn to say no to others when they ask you to take on additional work.  Saying no is difficult to do but it is extremely important to learn how and when to say it.
  9. Simplify your life in any way you can – Overwhelm can come from a variety of sources.  If you see too much “stuff” in your home or office and you feel out of control, you get stressed. Seeing hundreds of emails in your inbox is stressful too. One way to simplify is to get rid of things you don’t need.  Simplify the way you work too by eliminating unnecessary steps so the job gets done faster.
  10. Write in a Journal – Writing has always been a great stress reliever for me.  Once I write about my stress I leave it on the page and move forward stress free. Others see solutions when they write the issues down. Still others find it helpful to write down what they are grateful for.  It changes their focus and their mood. 
  11. Create manageable baby steps toward goals – If you have set ambitious goals for yourself or your business try making a step by step process to reach the goal.  If the steps are easily achievable you will feel you are moving in the right direction and that the goal is reachable.  This gives you the energy to move forward toward the goal.
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Attitude, Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

How To Be Happy at Work? Acknowledge Yourself

Nov 26th, 10 / 0 Comments

Making a list of your accomplishments at work for the year is a way to acknowledge yourself and your work.  Parker’s Points this month gave you some questions to ask yourself to uncover your accomplishments.

In 1997 when I had just started my coaching practice another coach sent out a newsletter suggesting that her readers make a list of 100 accomplishments for the year in their personal and work life that they would like to acknowledge themselves for.

The task seemed overwhelming to me.  My business was just beginning. I had no idea if it would be successful or not.  Leaving the corporate world and its secure salary to be out on my own was just plain scary.  It felt like I would have trouble finding 10 accomplishments for the year never mind 100.

As a new business owner I was very good at identifying the problems.  My inner critic was alive and well.  She was busy telling me I could never make it.  How many of us are more in tune with what is wrong with what we do than with what is right?

The exercise of finding 100 accomplishments challenged me.  I was certainly conscious of my inner critic and eager to gain my power back by proving to myself that I had done quite a bit.

My list included things that made me proud. Hey having the courage to start a business was huge. Some of my items might have seemed insignificant to others but I was proud of each and this was my list.  In the end I found many more than the 100 accomplishments.  (Try it!  You will probably surprise yourself too.)

While it felt good to acknowledge myself in this way, my critic has a habit of “but”ing in with a “yah but” and then a list of reasons why I still might not be successful even with all these accomplishments.

It seems to me important to go one step further with this exercise.  I’d call this step “Bask in the glory”!  By that I mean sit with the list so that you have the luxury of feeling proud of yourself for an hour or so.  Come back to the list several times during the day, week, and month to really feel your successes.

Allow your past successes to boost your confidence for the future.  If you have overcome some obstacles in the past, then you will be able to do the same in the future.  In our busy lives today we don’t take nearly enough time to celebrate and acknowledge ourselves.

Now how can you appease that critic in you that bugs you at the most inopportune times?  The doubting part of you is there for your own safety and security so your critic warns you to play it safe at all times.

There is risk to almost anything you do.  Even if you are not a huge risk taker you have probably taken a calculated risk at times.  Sometimes you can quiet your critic by controlling most of the risky parts and sometimes you have to block out the noise of the critic knowing that you have been as careful as possible and the risk is worth it.

So what did you do this year that were achievements for you?  Make your list of 100 or however many you think is impressive.  Sit with your list and acknowledge yourself for all that you have achieved.  To be happy at work it is important to celebrate your successes.

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Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers