PARKER Associates

Transitions can be difficult.  Change is never easy and when it involves your career or your personal life it is just plain scary. Job seekers, career changers, and business people all experience transitions.  While it may be upsetting when it is happening, transitions are also an opportunity for growth.

At 38 I went through a huge transition.  I went from living in a large house with a husband, two children and a dog to being a single Mom in a much smaller house with a mortgage and expenses I had to take care of on my own.  Since I had been a stay at home Mom up to this time, I also needed to find a job.

I had never been totally on my own before. Before I was married I lived with  and was supported by my parents and after that - my husband.  Working outside the home was not common for women in those days.  Now I was responsible not only for myself but the children as well. This transition period was a really frightening for me.

To make matters even more difficult I had just bought a house that did not have a bedroom for me!  I had to build one in the attic or at least find someone to do it for me.

I hired a contractor, watched over the construction of a bedroom, office and bathroom, managed the household and cared for the children (oh yes and the dog too!) while at the same time I looked for a new job.  It was not easy and there were days when I was really discouraged but I kept going because I had two children to support and I was determined to succeed.

The construction of my bedroom and bath taught me a lot.  I’d never done anything like it before. I managed to stay within a very tight budget.  I made hundreds of decisions about the design and materials with no one to help me except the contractor and a few friends. I could really see how much I was capable of.

Confidence comes from these kinds of small successes that get you energized and keep you moving forward even under difficult circumstances.  It was during that period that I actually grew into the role of family provider.

Finding a job was my next challenge. My degree was in education and I had returned earlier that year to teaching but realized that while I still enjoyed it I needed to make more money than I could in teaching. I wanted to work with adults too since I was at home alone with two children.

The career I decided on was sales and marketing.  It took some real salesmanship to convince people that a teacher with no real sales experience could sell!  Even my parents and friends were skeptical.

Very few companies seemed impressed with my resume.  After numerous calls, tons of networking and several job interviews I finally convinced one company that I could sell their amazing electronic equipment – the telephone answering machine.

It was my experience building that bedroom, office and bath that had made me fearless! Doing that taught me I could do anything I set my mind to and I convinced the telephone answering machine company I could sell for them.  And I did! I became their star sales person.

If you are someone going through a transition (career, business, or personal) right now for whatever reason, look at this transition time as a period of personal growth.  Take on a challenging project (your own or volunteer for one). Learn a new skill. Deepen your expertise so you can become a thought leader in your field.  Learn as much as you can about yourself and the opportunities open to you.

This transition time is a unique opportunity for growth.  Use it wisely to help you to find new confidence in yourself.  You will profit from the experience!

Take action:

Many years ago I read this essay about transitions and loved it.  It is a beautifully written parable.  Hope you enjoy it too.

http://www.earthstewards.org/ESN-Trapeze.asp

Stress affects your performance at work.  A little stress is not a bad thing.  It keeps you on your toes.  Too much stress can be paralyzing.  When the stress of a job gets to you, you need some strategies to help you cope.  Here are 11 ways my clients and I have found to minimize the stress so we can be active and happy.

1. Breathe deeply -This is probably the most important stress reducer.  Often when someone is under great stress they either stop breathing or take really shallow breaths.  Instead take a deep enough breath so that you can see your belly rise.  Do this several times to relax yourself.  (I’ve become more aware of deep breathing since my mother got sick.  She has to take some deep breaths during the day to insure that her oxygen level remains above 90%, When I tell her to take deep breaths, I do it too.  It definitely helps make me feel more alert and grounded.)
2. Sleep 7 or 8 hours a night – Lack of sleep can make you tense and depressed.  Most of us need at least 7 hours every night to stay calm and alert at work.
3. Exercise – Walking is one way to get the exercise you need to keep your body in shape and happy.  If you sit at a desk all day, get up occasionally, walk around and stretch.  (Once I sit down at my desk I rarely get up.  I do need to work on this one!)
4. Mindful eating – Take the time to really taste your food.  Don’t eat at your desk and work. Instead spend some time sitting quietly eating.  This gives you a chance to unwind.  Move to another location and leave your work thoughts at your desk. Eat slowly and take the time to enjoy the food.  Not only is this tip helpful to calm yourself and relieve stress but it is also helpful to people trying to diet.  Your brain will have the time to send you a message when you are full.  When you eat fast you tend to overeat.
5. Plan carefully so you don’t leave everything for the last minute- Stress comes when you have too much to handle and you aren’t sure where to start.  Some of my clients call it “overwhelm”.  You can combat overwhelm by planning ahead so you know what you will do and when you will do.  It helps you to see that your plan allows you to complete the work. Can’t get everything done?  Move on to 6.
6. Prioritize your work – When there is more work to be completed than you have time for, it is necessary to prioritize your work.  Ask yourself what are the most important projects that must be worked.  Prioritizing helps you to figure out what to focus on.  It can help eliminate the feeling of overwhelm you have when you look at everything that must be done and become paralyzed by the enormity of the work. 
7. Delegate work if you can or ask for help – If you have others who work for you, delegate the repetitive work that someone else can do to free up your time to do the work only you can do.  Those who do not have people to delegate to, try asking for help from someone when you are feeling overwhelmed.
8. Create good boundaries and learn to say no – Be really clear what is and what is not your responsibility and learn to say no to others when they ask you to take on additional work.  Saying no is difficult to do but it is extremely important to learn how and when to say it.
9. Simplify your life in any way you can – Overwhelm can come from a variety of sources.  If you see too much “stuff” in your home or office and you feel out of control, you get stressed. Seeing hundreds of emails in your inbox is stressful too. One way to simplify is to get rid of things you don’t need.  Simplify the way you work too by eliminating unnecessary steps so the job gets done faster.
10. Write in a Journal – Writing has always been a great stress reliever for me.  Once I write about my stress I leave it on the page and move forward stress free. Others see solutions when they write the issues down. Still others find it helpful to write down what they are grateful for.  It changes their focus and their mood. 
11. Create manageable baby steps toward goals – If you have set ambitious goals for yourself or your business try making a step by step process to reach the goal.  If the steps are easily achievable you will feel you are moving in the right direction and that the goal is reachable.  This gives you the energy to move forward toward the goal.