Happy at Work | Alvah Parker's Blog

Who Makes The Difference in Your Life

Dec 15th, 10 / 0 Comments

Today I am publishing something I got from a friend in email. It was one of those forwarded things everyone gets. I usually read them quickly and delete them. This one had a message that resonated with me so I thought I would share it in case you had not received it.

When she sent it to me it came with the heading Charles Schultz Philosophy. Before I sent it I Googled Charles Schultz Philosophy and found this on Snopes. This was not written by Charles Schulz (this is the correct spelling of the Peanuts comic strip author) but by Dennis Fakes instead. As my friend said when I wrote her this finding, “What can you believe any more?” My answer to her was: definitely not email. Still no matter who wrote it the message provides a reminder of who is important in your life. Here is the message:

You don’t have to actually answer the questions. Just ponder on them.
Just read the e-mail straight through and you’ll get the point.

1. Name the five wealthiest people in the world.
2. Name the last five Heisman trophy winners.
3. Name the last five winners of the Miss America pageant.
4. Name ten people who have won the Nobel or Pulitzer Prize.
5. Name the last half dozen Academy Award winners for best actor and actress.
6. Name the last decade’s worth of World Series winners.

How did you do?
The point is none of us remember the head liners of yesterday.
These are no second-rate achievers.
They are the best in their fields.
But the applause dies..
Awards tarnish..
Achievements are forgotten.
Accolades and certificates are buried with their owners.

Here’s another quiz. See how you do on this one:

1. List a few teachers who aided your journey through school.
2. Name three friends who have helped you through a difficult time.
3. Name four people who have taught you something worthwhile.
4. Think of a few people who have made you feel appreciated and special!!
5. Think of five people you enjoy spending time with.

Easier?

The lesson:
The people who make a difference in your life are not the ones with the most credentials
the most money…or the most awards.
They simply are the ones who care the most

Found on Snopes.com and attributed to Dennis Fakes. G.R.A.C.E.: The Essence of Spirituality

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How To Be Happy at Work? Acknowledge Yourself

Nov 26th, 10 / 0 Comments

Making a list of your accomplishments at work for the year is a way to acknowledge yourself and your work. Parker’s Points this month gave you some questions to ask yourself to uncover your accomplishments.

In 1997 when I had just started my coaching practice another coach sent out a newsletter suggesting that her readers make a list of 100 accomplishments for the year in their personal and work life that they would like to acknowledge themselves for.

The task seemed overwhelming to me. My business was just beginning. I had no idea if it would be successful or not. Leaving the corporate world and its secure salary to be out on my own was just plain scary. It felt like I would have trouble finding 10 accomplishments for the year never mind 100.

As a new business owner I was very good at identifying the problems. My inner critic was alive and well. She was busy telling me I could never make it. How many of us are more in tune with what is wrong with what we do than with what is right?

The exercise of finding 100 accomplishments challenged me. I was certainly conscious of my inner critic and eager to gain my power back by proving to myself that I had done quite a bit.

My list included things that made me proud. Hey having the courage to start a business was huge. Some of my items might have seemed insignificant to others but I was proud of each and this was my list. In the end I found many more than the 100 accomplishments. (Try it! You will probably surprise yourself too.)

While it felt good to acknowledge myself in this way, my critic has a habit of “but”ing in with a “yah but” and then a list of reasons why I still might not be successful even with all these accomplishments.

It seems to me important to go one step further with this exercise. I’d call this step “Bask in the glory”! By that I mean sit with the list so that you have the luxury of feeling proud of yourself for an hour or so. Come back to the list several times during the day, week, and month to really feel your successes.

Allow your past successes to boost your confidence for the future. If you have overcome some obstacles in the past, then you will be able to do the same in the future. In our busy lives today we don’t take nearly enough time to celebrate and acknowledge ourselves.

Now how can you appease that critic in you that bugs you at the most inopportune times? The doubting part of you is there for your own safety and security so your critic warns you to play it safe at all times.

There is risk to almost anything you do. Even if you are not a huge risk taker you have probably taken a calculated risk at times. Sometimes you can quiet your critic by controlling most of the risky parts and sometimes you have to block out the noise of the critic knowing that you have been as careful as possible and the risk is worth it.

So what did you do this year that were achievements for you? Make your list of 100 or however many you think is impressive. Sit with your list and acknowledge yourself for all that you have achieved. To be happy at work it is important to celebrate your successes.

Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

How to feel good about your accomplishments at the end of the year

Nov 9th, 10 / 0 Comments

To be truly happy at work you need to feel good about what you have accomplished. Sometimes we get so busy with our day to day work, we don’t have time to sit back to reflect. Take the time! Feeling fulfilled and happy at work means that you acknowledge yourself and others acknowledge you too.

Most years in December or January when I worked for AT&T my manager would ask me for a list of my accomplishments. Even if my manager didn’t ask I gave him/her a list. Since my manager had to write a yearly appraisal of my work, he/she needed to know what I had done during the year. Left on their own I am sure they would have relied on the work I had done during the final quarter of the year – since it was fresh in their minds. My list would cover the whole year.

That is not to say my memory was any better than theirs. It took me about a year or so to realize that I needed to keep a running list of my accomplishments because otherwise many would be forgotten about – both by me and my manager.

Accomplishments are important to your career. They appear on your resume so having a list going back a number of years is helpful when you want to update your resume.

If you are a business owner, it is good to take stock once or twice a year to see where you have been and what has changed. First it is a chance to celebrate your successes and second it is an opportunity to re-evaluate where you want to take your business next year.

Here are 10 questions to ask yourself to identify your accomplishments.

Have you worked on a team that achieved measurable results? You’ll want to note what role you played on the team. Perhaps you led the team, had budget responsibilities, or spearheaded a subgroup. Always include the measurement if you have one – percentages, dollars, number of something (minutes for example). People notice numbers.
Have you solved a problem in an emergency situation? Did a client or customer came to you with an issue that was difficult to find a solution to or needed something to be done faster than usual? Identify the problem and your solution. Be sure to emphasize the difficulty of the problem or the speed with which you came up with the solution.
Have you improved the operation of something in your office or department? Perhaps you’ve selected, purchased and installed a new software application that speeds the operation of a department function. The overall success of the installation is an accomplishment as is getting the approvals necessary to make the purchase of the software.
Have you made a sale or acquired a client that was a significant achievement for you and your company or firm? It is important to explain either in dollars or in words the importance of the sale to the company or firm.
Have you taken a leadership role and been successful. Certainly growing a business or even keeping stable in this economy is a great accomplishment and if you were the leader making the decisions, you deserve the credit.
Did you win an award or special recognition for a project or sale that you made? Here you will need to describe what the award was for and who gave the award.
Are you consistently on time or early when meeting deadlines? If you are contributing to the efficiency of your company or firm, that is an achievement. Look for evidence that others depend on your timeliness to complete a task or function.
Have you led a project that came in on time and on budget? Again, numbers are helpful here.
Have you identified a profitable new market for your firm or company to go after? Depending on the company you may have done the research for the new market or you may have developed the business and brought in a new customer/client with potential for ongoing business. Either way you are adding to the bottom line of the company.
Were you given added responsibility because of an expertise that you have that can benefit the company or firm? Are you a subject matter expert in some particular area? You can explain how you are using this expertise to benefit the company.

What other questions would you ask yourself to uncover your yearly accomplishments? Please post them!

Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers, practice management

How to Avoid Frustrating Your Client

Oct 25th, 10 / 0 Comments

Years ago a friend who was in the hospital said to me, “I think everyone here is amazingly capable but it seems that they have never met each other.” Having spent much time during the last 3 weeks in the hospital visiting my mother who has pneumonia, I know exactly what he meant.

Everyone in the hospital has his/her own specific job. For the most part they do it well but they rarely give information to each other. Sure there is a computer with notes about the patient in it but I’m not sure who besides the nurse ever reads that.

The kitchen of the hospital is a land unto itself. Occasionally the dietician comes for a visit and listens to what you want. My mother had no appetite. Hospital cooking and her special diet (low sodium, diabetic, low cholesterol) made her food pretty tasteless. She kept asking for soup and ice cream.

I managed to get her the soup but for some reason they kept telling me the doctor had to ok the ice cream. I finally got the doctor to do that. He was puzzled why they wouldn’t give it to her.

For a week they did just fine sending sugar free ice cream all week until Saturday. The weekend person said I needed the doctor’s permission for ice cream! Of course there is no way to get a doctor’s permission over the weekend and besides he had already given it to the weekday kitchen staff!

Working as a team seems foreign to them. Instead each group does their own work carefully and sometimes it works well and sometimes the patient is left waiting and waiting….

Too often they expect the patient to remember things that are important. My mother is diabetic and needs her blood sugar checked three times a day. One day whoever was supposed to do it never came.

Later in the day the nurse asked my mother if anyone checked her blood sugar that afternoon. Depending on an elderly woman who has been in the hospital two weeks is not wise. She answered yes because it had been checked earlier in the day and time stands still when you are in the hospital for so long.

Just as a hospital needs coordination of staff to run smoothly so does a law practice. How does your office run? Do you depend on your client to remind you of tasks they have requested? Does your staff know the latest updates to a client file and why you made the updates so they can be prepared to answer a client’s questions?

There have been times when I have needed my attorney or someone on her staff to remind me why I did something one way and not another. While some parts of the law may seem obvious to you they are not always obvious to a client.

Not only the attorney but the appropriate members of the staff should be able to answer simple questions. The members of your office staff are a team. Do they act like one?

Lawyers, practice management

What Do You Do During Tough Times?

Oct 25th, 10 / 2 Comments

Do you have a hard time figuring out what you are passionate about? It was hard for me too.

This month though I found a new way to find it and although the circumstances are not what I would wish for anyone, everyone has tough times at some time in their lives so this might work for you too..

My mother who is 96 came down with bronchitis at the end of September. Two days after the doctor had diagnosed her she got worse so I called an ambulance to take her to the hospital.

She spent a week in the hospital sleeping most of the time. She woke only for meals or to say hello to me when she became aware that I was there. She was extremely weak and tired.

The next week they moved her to a rehabilitation hospital and diagnosed her with pneumonia. It was another week before we saw any signs that she was getting better.

Recovery has been very slow. All that time she basically slept and ate a little-mostly slept. There was only one other thing that she consistently did each day and that was the daily bridge game in the Boston Globe and the ones in the New York Times on Monday and Thursday. Sick as she was she managed to muster up enough energy to do that and then go back to sleep. Clearly she has a passion for bridge.

Needless to say I was concerned about my mother and so I stayed at the hospital 5 or 6 hours a day. The only things I attended to were my client calls and writing my newsletter.

From these two activities I got amazing relief from the stress. Once I began a call or started to write everything else vanished and I could think about only what I was doing. Other activities did not hold my attention. That is why I had over 300 messages in my email in box!!

So if you are having trouble finding what you are passionate about, look at the kind of things you find pleasure in even when times are tough and you have a huge problem in your life. Look for something that you enjoy like bridge for my mother and writing and coaching for me. It will be something that absorbs in a way that makes you forget your troubles-something you want to continue forever and that makes everything else bearable.

Attitude, Career Changers, Finding Passion, Lawyers

What Makes ME Happy At Work?

Oct 12th, 10 / 0 Comments

Waking up every day excited and happy to go to work has always been a goal for me. Some jobs were like that for me and others were not. I remember once literally dragging myself to my job because it was so stressful. It was easier for me to write this list when I thought about what I hated about that job. Knowing your requirements for a great job will help you to define your next move or make your current job better.

What makes you happy at work? I’d love to know the answer to that question. Here is a list of my answers to the question. Are yours the same or different? Please put a comment on my blog.

I am happiest at work when I am doing the work I love and work that I have a deep interest in. I’ve always enjoyed helping people reach a goal and I am especially happy when I can help them find meaningful and profitable work.
One important part of my practice is that I want to work with clients I enjoy. This means people who believe that it is possible to work in a way that is interesting, satisfying and profitable. They also believe I am the right person to help them find their own career sweet spot either by improving their current situation or by identifying a new career.
It is also important to me to work with a team of colleagues and vendors who I respect and who respect me. I love to share ideas with others and learn new ways of working with them.
It is very important to me that my clients and newsletter readers exchange their ideas and opinions with me. I have learned a great deal from my clients and readers. I am happiest when we are having a dialogue even when we disagree.
Since I am a continuous learner I want work that allows me to take classes, workshops and webinars that help to increase my knowledge. Right now I am studying marketing with Robert Middleton.
Reading for my work is also important to me. My favorite titles are business books like Outliers by Malcom Gladwell or Drive by Daniel Pink. I also read Business Week and The Kiplinger Letter.
While I am happy at work I also have other parts of my life that I enjoy and want to be able to engage in. This includes spending time with family and friends, working out, listening to music, singing and going to the theater and concerts. I am happiest when I know I can finish my work in a timely way so I can participate in other activities that I enjoy.
Being over committed is something I hate so I am happiest when I can see my way clear to doing everything I’ve promised on or before it is due. I love planning my work so I can see I can comfortably finish it all.
To be really happy at my work I need to feel I am paid what I am worth. I need to know people value me and what I do for them. Adequate payment for my services is the way that they do that.
Success for me is measured by positive feedback from clients and readers who tell me what they have learned from me and how they have applied that learning. I love the feeling of satisfaction when I know that one more person is finding meaning and satisfaction in the work that he/she does.

Since I am my own boss I have not described a great boss employee relationship. Perhaps for some of you a good boss is a requirement to be happy at work. What are the attributes of a good boss? How important is he/she to your happiness at work? Please comment.

Attitude, Career Changers, Lawyers

Uncovering Your Passion So That You Can Be Happy At Work

Sep 22nd, 10 / 0 Comments

Are you happy at work? Do you have passion for the work that you do? The notion of passion was something that mystified me early on in my career. I was usually happy at work but the feeling of passion eluded me. In fact up until I retired from AT&T, I only got brief glimpses of what got my juices flowing. What exactly was my calling?

Because my style is low key I often have difficulty identifying and displaying the emotion I feel about something. It is one reason I have taken Improv classes. The emotion is there inside but never got exposed. Improv has helped me to display my feelings more easily and in a bigger way.

Since the passion was there all the time, it was more about labeling and allowing myself to feel it. Unfortunately during my career I was usually too busy making a living to take the time to think about this. That was my loss.

Now I can see that for the most part I was lucky to find jobs that were meaningful and important to me. Only once in my career was I placed in a job that I had no passion for and I did feel stuck!! That is not a place you want to be or a feeling you want to experience. Feeling stuck is a signal that you need to reenergize yourself in that job or find a new job!

In Parker’s Points this month I wrote about how to display passion at an interview. Shortly after I published the article, I read an article in GP Solo entitled Where’s Your Passion?

The author Attorney Jennifer Ator talks about missing her calling which she says might have been to be a librarian or bookstore owner. She loves the look, feel and smell of books. She talks about how she has learned to integrate that passion into her work and her life. She believes that knowing her passion has made her a better lawyer.

Finding your passion and then using that energy in your work helps give meaning to the work that you do. Attorney Ator has found ways outside of her law practice to do what she is passionate about and the energy that she gets outside her practice spills over into her law practice. That is one way to use your passion. There are others.

I’ve had a client create a side business so that he could put his passion to work. For my client the side business remained a side line but for others it could take over as the main source of income. Either way can lead to a satisfying and fulfilling career and life.

Other people have found ways to use their passion in the marketing of the practice. Their passion might be in the area of sports for example. Since the purpose of marketing is to build relationships with prospects, an attorney might share his/her enthusiasm for the local team with a prospect or a client, he/she might invite a client to a sporting event, or he/she could play the sport with the client.

Of course ideally you have a passion for the work that you do. One attorney I worked with said her strongest value was justice. She felt the judicial system was unfair to the disadvantaged person whom she saw as primarily the elderly and women. Her passion was to use the law as a tool to prevent future difficult situations for her clients. She is an Elder Law attorney.

In my practice I help attorneys (and others) to connect or reconnect to their passion in a way that gives my clients a whole new perspective on themselves Finding your passion can lead to a more profitable and fulfilling practice.

The author of the article Where’s Your Passion? says that rediscovering your passion will take some thought. I agree. It isn’t something you can do overnight. But you will gain a lot of self knowledge along the way as you take the steps necessary to get there. If you want to be happy at work it definitely worth doing!!

Finding Passion

Protecting Yourself So That You Can Be Happy At Work

Sep 22nd, 10 / 0 Comments

Amy, my client (not her real name), set a goal when we began our coaching sessions to be happy at work in 3 months. She had been working in her position for about 6 months and was miserable. The environment was toxic, there was little or no direction, and everyone was tense and unhappy. After 2 months of coaching she found a new job

Amy’s friend, Claire, still worked in the old company and continued to call Amy at her home after Amy left the job. During each call Claire would complain that she was getting negative feedback about her performance from her manager. Claire thought she was doing what she was supposed to do and felt that the manager and his boss were out to get her.

Amy was torn between being a good friend and protecting herself from being drawn into the negativity of her friend’s situation. Since the situation sounded dire, Amy did suggest Claire look for a new job.

I was amused and also impressed when Amy spoke of putting on her shield so that the talk slid off her and did not stay with her. It was a great image and helped Amy to be a good listener without being pulled into the negative spiral.

What else could she do? She did try to help her friend see what her other options were so that instead of being a victim she could move on. Amy however knew that for her own mental well being she must somehow limit the amount of negative talk she listened to.

Amy herself was a good role model for Claire. She had been in the same negative environment although no one had complained about Amy’s work. Amy did feel the tension and lack of direction. But she had taken action by hiring a coach and then finding a new job with a healthier environment.

With so many people out of work today many of us have friends and relatives who need a good listener. Do you hesitate to take their call or to call them? Perhaps the image of putting on a shield will help you too. It is important to protect yourself from being pulled into the negative energy.

Claire did finally resign from her position. She told Amy she was going to be fired anyway. Unfortunately she did not have another job lined up so she’ll have to begin a job search now. It will be much harder for her to find a job when she is unemployed and she will need to have a good answer to the question about why she resigned.

Sometimes circumstances are such that it is impossible to convince your manager and employer that you are doing the job well. You may believe it but if they don’t your job is in jeopardy. Whenever you are working for someone, listen carefully for the feedback and be ready to act if they sound unhappy with your work.

I know from experience that if a job pays well and you have been comfortable doing it, it is easier to believe that everything will turn out well if you sit tight. Sometimes that turns out to be true but what if it doesn’t and you find yourself where Claire found herself.

You are in charge of your own career. If you want to be happy at work you need to be ready to take the steps necessary to make sure you are always in a good work situation.

Job seekers: Be sure to read this article from the Boston Globe to see how other job seekers stayed positive during their job search.

Attitude, Career Changers

10 Ways to Display Passion

Sep 9th, 10 / 3 Comments

Many years ago I was turned down for a job at a company that I really wanted to work for. I was surprised when the interviewer told me that he did not think I wanted the job. He could not have been more wrong about that. I was puzzled by his conclusion even after he explained that I had not shown enthusiasm for the job during the interview and that is how he came to his decision. The DISC behavioral assessment helped me to understand his comment.

Some people are naturally passionate about everything they do. Others have a style that is dispassionate and often unreadable. I’ve learned now that my natural style is often unreadable by others. There is no right or wrong style to be. Having a very passionate team member can often be annoying to a team trying to view all sides in making a decision. During a sales presentation or a job interview being passionate is a positive however. Enthusiasm is contagious! While it is difficult to fake passion it was possible for me to learn to show my feelings more openly. If expressing passion is hard for you here are some tips on stepping it up a bit.

Prepare mentally and physically. You want to be well rested and in good shape so that you are energetic and enthusiastic about your topic. Your body posture shows excitement. You stay totally present and give everyone a warm confident greeting.
Use stories to engage your feelings. Tell stories that inspire you and the people you are talking to. Use the stories to illustrate a point or make something abstract more concrete. The stories could be about accomplishments that you are proud of or memorable events in your life. In talking about yourself you will recapture your own passionate feeling and communicate the feeling to the listeners.
Move to display physical energy. Use gestures when you talk. If appropriate move while you speak.
Connect with what you love. Passion comes from within you. Practice accessing it by learning what triggers it for you and then using it appropriately.
Have gleaming eyes. Hard to fake this one but here are some suggestions. Put eye drops in your eyes just before the meeting. Avoid anything that would make your eyes red such as allergies or lack of sleep. Maintain eye contact with person or audience. Stay aware of the passion within (#4). The glow of passion does come from inside.
Smile as you speak. Look for joy in whatever you are doing or talking about. Then show the pleasure and happiness you feel by smiling. Sometimes initiating the smile brings the joy with it.
Find a topic that intrigues you. Get absorbed in what you are speaking about so that delivering your message really consumes you. This demonstrates your passion to the listeners
Use variety in pace and an overall upbeat tempo. Keep your speech pace upbeat speaking slower for emphasis and then faster with energy and excitement.
Keep the volume of your voice up. You want everyone to hear you. This also helps you to realize the importance of what you are saying.
Vary the pitch of your voice. It is important to avoid being a monotone. Passionate people are excited and so their voice naturally goes up and down.

Managers should remember that not all jobs require a person who is noticeably enthusiastic . It is important to know the behavioral style the job requires and then look for a person who has that style. I recommend all hiring managers use the DISC and Workplace Motivators for candidates and the Job Benchmarking tool for the job itself. Remember no one style is “the best”. For a flyer about these assessments please send me an email asparker@asparker.com.

Interview Tips, Interviewing tips

Vacation?

Sep 5th, 10 / 0 Comments

In 2008 an Expedia.com poll showed that one third of Americans do not take their vacation time. Is that why so many people resent the President taking his vacation? Read http://www.asparker.com/ppts0807.html Ten Reasons Everyone Needs a Vacation.

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