Manage Yourself by Becoming Self Aware

Who Are You?

If you want to learn to manage yourself you need to become more self-aware.  How can you manage yourself if you are unaware of your feelings about yourself?  While most of us think we know ourselves well, it is beneficial to occasionally ask yourself some questions to uncover more information.  As you grow your answers may change or you may see something new that you were not aware of before.

The following is a list of questions to ask yourself.  I’ve purposely chosen the ones that will make you feel good about yourself.  I’ll choose the ones that may lead to answers about what is missing or painful for another list.  Your answers to these questions should make you happy, feel good about yourself and feel more confident.  As a result you will know the kinds of things that make you happy at work.

1. What made you happy this week (at home and/or at work)? Explore a bit how you feel when you are happy.  What are you feeling and where do you feel it.  When you feel happy do you take the time to enjoy it?  Most people rush to move forward without spending a moment or two really enjoying the happiness.
2. What is going right in your life right now? If you answer nothing here, try looking at what is not going right and see what you can learn from the situation(s).  A failure is an opportunity to learn.  Learning something new is what is going right in your life. (I don’t always feel that way when it is happening and if this were said to me in a bad moment I’d probably be angry.)  Come back to this question when you feel able to answer it.
3. What are you grateful for? List at least 5 things.  These do not have to be huge.  I’m grateful when I see a pretty bird or a colorful flower.  When I feel grateful it is like praying- a spiritual experience. There is a feeling of warmth inside of me. What is it like for you?
4. What do you love about yourself? Sometimes this one seems a bit off putting.  It is one I often want to skip but I know it is important to acknowledge the good in me.  When you acknowledge yourself, you affirm what you value about yourself.  I need to remind myself that it is ok to love myself.  Actually it is more than ok it is necessary.
5. What are your strengths? Think about what you are good at.  We all have strengths.  If you are not sure try the VIA Character Strengths Assessment  at University of Pennsylvania’s Authentic Happiness website.
6. Who or what is most important to you in your life? Who or what can you not live without?
7. Who or what inspires you the most? What makes this so inspiring to you?
8. What were your wins this week? A win doesn’t have to be reaching a goal.  Perhaps you learned something new or someone complimented you on something.  Are you conscious of the win when it happens?  Do you enjoy the moment or do you discount it?
9. In what way or ways do you care for yourself well? Self-care reflects how you feel about yourself.  You won’t feel well and you won’t get good feedback from others if you get lax about taking care of yourself.  The first step is to become more aware about your health, your appearance, your attitude, your feelings etc.  Even at 103 my mother takes time with her makeup and clothing choices.  The young aides think it is funny but I am impressed that she continues to care about her appearance.  It tells me she is still positively engaged with life.
10. What gives you energy? What kinds of things make you feel exhilarated.  For me it is music, growing things, and interacting with family and good friends.  What is it for you?  What gets you going when you are feeling sluggish?

I work with clients who want to become more self-aware. Through questions and assessments, we can find your answers to these questions and some others so that you can fully know who you are. If you want to become a leader of yourself first and then others, becoming self-aware is the first step. I can be reached at 781-598-0388 for a no-obligation free half hour exploratory conversation. You can also reach me at asparker@asparker.com.